These people really don’t have a clue.

I lull them into believing that although I am supposed to be super smart; they foolishly think that my capabilities are less than that of most of my peers.

Somehow, they gave me the message that my predecessor MBD (Most Beloved Dog) was really good about the fetch ball and Frisbee scene. Clearly, my predecessor was not as smart as I am. I absolutely refuse to do what she did, dropping the item in their hand or at their feet. What subservient behavior that is! To this day, I tease my people, note that I say “people,” not masters, by lulling them into thinking I might just do what they want. Instead, I torture them by coming up to them, almost giving them the item, and then I run away with it. I love to see the looks on their faces! Some of them give up but for others I actually pretty much do what they expect of me just to taunt the others.

I hate that Frisbee. I am not going to do as they expect. The ball is okay, but I really prefer to play more of a soccer ball throw. Moreover, I like to control.

Most of the time, I ‘behave’ as they would like to see me. Again, it is a tease and taunt situation so I can get what I want. I am good.

I lull them into believing that I am perfectly behaved and then, when they are not looking, I grab the cake from the counter in their absence, pull off a cake right in front them while they are entertaining guests, and yank food from the little ones. I believe fully in the word, ‘unexpected.’

Just to keep them on their toes, I grabbed some vintage magazines from the 1920s, French I believe, and ripped them to shreds. I haven’t had that much fun in ages.

They brought out my crate again, that barbaric structure that they use to keep me in line. They think I like it. I pretend that I do and while in it I plot and plan to make sure that I am on top and they are the subservient ones.

Who said I wasn’t as smart as the next Border collie?

About Stewart Koerner

Black and White and of the canine persuasion. Born in December on the 14th in 2012. Borders are my business and I don't believe in walls!
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