Let’s all bark!

Yes, I bark. Isn’t that what dogs do?

Rich thinks I don’t realize that this ridiculous piece of current Technology that he put around my neck is understood by me.

I bark, an unpleasant tone sounds, the more I bark, the more it goes off. He doesn’t realize it, or maybe he does, that my barking actually kills the battery. Damn, he has already replaced two of them. Okay, so I gave in a little bit and don’t bark as much. Training humans is quite the labor intensive situation.

What does he want from me? It’s Father’s Day and I cannot even celebrate, the siring possibility taken away from me in a simple snip when I was young and didn’t know how to fight back and keep them from doing this to me. I get back at them big time for this, annoying them by dry humping other dogs whenever I can. That look on their faces…I especially like to engage in this activity when people are over, humans just get so embarrassed!

Changing the subject, when I am sitting down, basking in the sun, I am making mental notes, I am a Border collie after all; I make plans. I think about the ways I can get dirty. They have nicknamed me ‘Dirt bag,’ and I do my utmost to live up to my title. After all, maybe they shouldn’t have named me this, but now that they have, I am going to do it at ever opportunity, fix them for calling me that. I will live up to their expectations. Wet muddy paws, a water logged underside, I come in and put this all over the Family Room carpet or better yet, on the low lying bed in one of the guest rooms. That Pottery Barn ensemble has seen my share of dirt and throw up. I definitely know how to fix them! When they see it, I look sheepishly (something in my genes from having attended to sheep in my previous lives) at them and they feel sorry for me.

For now, basking in the sun is where it’s at as I plot future mischief.

About Richard Koerner

Sixty something, father, papi, educator, organizer, Francophile, traveler, amateur photographer, gardener, cyclist, kayaker, calligrapher, cinephile, reader, and overall renaissance type human being.

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