Toupees

Can you believe that toupees even exist?

Okay, so I kind of get it, that years ago there might have been a need for such a thing. There was a time when it wasn’t cool for a man to be bald. The thing to be remembered here is that unlike for women, a lot of men were victims of male pattern baldness. Although there are some issues on the feminine side, there is a much higher percentage for men. I never thought it would hit me, but it did.

So, why the need for toupees?

Especially now, why the need for toupees? Times have changed and so have the fashions and now it is actually okay, even desirable for men, to either be bald or shave their pates. So many actually do and often not even those who have a need of doing so.

The other day I was in the gym and I couldn’t help staring at the rug a man was wearing while working out, waiting in the sincere, evil hope that the thing would fly off.

Why would anyone do this to himself?

The thing about it is that a toupee is so obvious. Almost every rug is like putting something on your head in neon lights and advertising the fact that you are follicularly challenged. I totally get why a woman would get a wig. To be honest, a good wig is pretty hard to detect. In my head, anyway, there is less negativity for a woman with a wig than for a man with a toupee. Is that sexist?

This almost leads me into my favorite subject, comb overs, but I am not going there today.

Nonetheless, although it has taken me a lifetime to get to the point of shaving my head, it has been the best liberation ever. No longer do I have to deal with the monkey hairs growing on my neck and not having someone around to trim my neckline. Now I just shave it all off.

Next time I see that guy, I might just rip that rug off his head!

Meanwhile, I need a shave!

About Richard Koerner

Sixty something, father, papi, educator, organizer, Francophile, traveler, amateur photographer, gardener, cyclist, kayaker, calligrapher, cinephile, reader, and overall renaissance type human being.
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